App Post

[kagekachou]

Name: C.A.
Age: 20
Character: Tatsumi Seiichirou
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Character Age: physically 29, estimated to be actually in his
80s
Job: Business advisor

Canon: Amid the adventure that fills the days of Shinigami,
guardians of death who investigate unusual supernatural occurrences,
someone has to take care of all the little things: water the potted
plants, give mission briefings, manage the division's budget, wipe food off
Tsuzuki's face, fly in back-up via helicopter, and just generally
intimidate, threaten and bribe employees such as Tsuzuki
into at least partially behaving. That someone would be Tatsumi
Seiichirou, secretary to Chief Konoe of the Shokan Division -- and, rumor has
it, the one who really runs things there. While possessing both the
ability to manipulate shadows and a collection of the randomest skills ever
(shuriken-throwing, anyone?), his greatest power is the administrative prowess
that prevents the Shokan Division from falling into complete disarray.

In the office, Tatsumi's comical evil really shows -- he's stern,
imperious, stingy, coldly pragmatic, calculating and manipulative, and has
what might be a mild sadistic streak. Underneath the tight-fisted
exterior, though, there exists, as with any attractive male Yami no
Matsuei character, a creamy angst-filled center. Within him lie a
strong sense of duty and a determination to protect and provide for those he
cares about, even if they are unaware of how he truly feels. Having to
confront real emotional issues causes him to either freeze up or run
away -- and that in order to avoid falling apart. However, so long as
we're please to be avoiding the emo, it's just penny-pinching,
ulcer-inducing good times for all.

Note: Kyouya and the YnM cast members have kindly granted permission to
be mentioned in this app.


Sample Entry:

TO: Counselors and Campers of Camp Fuck You Die

FROM: Tatsumi Seiichirou, Business Advisor

DATE: 1 July 2006

SUBJECT: Counselor Appointment

I have been contracted as business advisor for Camp Fuck You Die, and
arrived a few days ago to begin my research. Some toucans were
unfortunately caught in the helicopter blades while landing. Apologies to any
who might have been affected by the shower of blood and feathers. Anyone
seeking monetary damages for the incident will have to undergo a
medical examination and submit paperwork to the Director.

A preliminary analysis of the camp's financial situation indicates that
fiscal reform, in both the budget and employee/attendee behavior, is
necessary. As it stands, in twenty years, the operating costs will be
enough to feed a small country or Tsuzuki-san. In the
short term, if the situation remains unchanged, amenties taken for
granted (e.g. silverware, toilet tissue, etc.) will likely have to be
regulated. And if such measures are necessary to balance the budget, they
will be taken.

Based on my brief survey of the camp situation, I have developed a few
initial recommendations:

• The wasteful destruction of camp-issued computers is highly
  discouraged. If the laptops are misbehaving, simple disassembly is
  appropriate; the parts can then be sold on the zombie black
  market. The owner of the laptop can file a claim for partial
  reimbursement.


• Given the unique nature of this camp, there is probably a profit to
  be made in areas of the tourism industry, especially if the audience is
  included under the label of "tourists." (The inclusion of the audience
  also enables the possibility of formalizing and profiting from the
  activity of "audience marriage.") The manufacture of souvenirs, such as
  t-shirts, should be explored.


• If the financial situation becomes truly dire, a widespread
  reduction in facial expressions will be implemented. I'm still
  puzzled as to how this improves the camp's financial situation, but every
  calculation supports the effectiveness of this measure.

I would also like to take this opportunity to clear up a few
misconceptions that were apparent in the introductory letter that I received. I
have been contracted as a business advisor and will not be teaching any
class entitled "Glasses-Flashing: Intermediate-Level Intimidation." If
there is a large demand for such a course of instruction, its
instruction can be negotiated for a fee of 12000 Yen (103.34 USD). Along those
lines, I am also not taking on the title of "Exposition Distributor."
Lastly, I know no one by the name of Ohtori Kyouya (information here). Such a
person is not even a vague acquaintance of mine, let alone, as was stated
in the letter of introduction, any sort of "lovechild." If any
individual finds himself or herself still concerned with this matter, there is
always the option of a paternity test, though the instigator will be
responsible for all costs, including reimbursement for lost time.

As a final note, a few campers and one counselor know me from our
homeworld. I ask them to keep in mind that any expenses incurred at camp
will, of course, be taken out of their salaries. Tsuzuki-san, I
was worried sick are you all right as it now
stands, you will be working for many, many more years without pay.
Also, so as to not inappropriately single out Tsuzuki-san, I have plenty
of paperwork for everyone.

I look forward to meeting you all.

TS

Voting Post

Special thanks to the YnM cast for their beta-ing!